Secrets often start to avoid harm. They are usually formed to protect family and friends from pain of a loss, a serious illness, an affair, or any issue that leads to distress.
In most cases, the themes under secrets are fear and shame. Whether to avoid the shame that may result when the secret is revealed, or to prevent a negative outcome, these strong emotions are behind the creation of many secrets.
The problem with secrets, is that they leave a trail in their wake. That is because the cover up open up a door for uncertainty, confusion, a sense of betrayal, and lack of trust in the future.
Family secrets affect relationships. Whether or not the secret is revealed, it impacts everyone involved, even if only peripherally related or connected to the secret or the family.
When the secret is revealed, the pain is only made worse by the fact that it was hidden. After it comes to light, the family has to come to terms with the secret, and the many lies that kept the secret hidden. They may question their family relationships, family history, identity, and any information they previously accepted as fact.
Unraveling family secrets and their aftermath with a qualified therapist can be very helpful. Honey Dahari has experience helping individuals, couples, and families cope with the new reality that is revealed when a secret is uncovered. She can help you too.